Forget about counting sheep. Here are alternative suggestions:
- Lay there and imagine all the people you would execute if you were king for a day. And then realize, that’s precisely why God won’t let you be king for a day.
- Drink a half bottle of cough syrup and go back to bed.
- Leave argumentative comments on YouTube videos.
- Go for a drive. Just make sure to get home before dawn…or if you hit a cat.
- Read – that is, if your tired, puffy, bloated eyes can handle it.
- Eat a snack. Since you’re not sleeping, your health is already compromised, so you may as well eat pizza, cookies, or both.
- Exercise…yeah, whatever.
- Take a bath…almost as boring as exercising. It’ll probably put you to sleep, but then you’ll drown in the tub, and nobody wants to be naked and water-wrinkled when they’re found dead.
- Call someone you don’t like and tell them you’d really like to be their friend. If they hang up, keep calling them until they believe you’re sincere. And then don’t talk to them again until the next time you can’t sleep… This is why God won’t let you be king for a day.
- Draw weird and/or pointless stuff. This is what I opted to do.
I woke around 2 or so last night, and after tossing and turning for over an hour, I got up and doodled a bit. Don’t try to read any meaning into this one particular sketch. I didn’t know what to draw, so I just made a lot of pointless doodles, and this was one of them.
So, what on earth would you have done at 3:30 in the morning if you couldn’t sleep?