TEN THINGS You Should NEVER EAT In The Summertime IF YOU WANT TO LOSE WEIGHT

After my last top-ten post, hand-written letters came pouring in from all over the globe pleading me to do more of them… Well, that’s not entirely true. There were no hand-written notes. In fact, there were no notes at all, but, hey, let’s not split hairs. The point is, everyone loves top-ten lists; maybe not so much when the title falsely promises to solve problems that plague you, but a provocative title is better than no title at all. Top-ten lists lacking a title make no sense. Look, I’ll show you what I mean. Here’s an example of a popular top-ten list without its title:

1. Plastic shoe laces

2. Gerbils

3. Coal

4. SPAM

5. China

6. Prestidigitation

7. Medium height

8. Sonny Bono

9. “Only when I touch it”

10. The Magna Carta

See what I mean? A top-ten list without a title is completely unintelligible. Whereas, the title without the list makes perfect sense, because we at least all know what the list is about, right? Even without giving you the list itself, we can all imagine what kinds of things we should avoid eating if we want to keep the weight off; say, for example, an anvil, a pickup bed filled with lard, or or a small country. Heck, the mind reels with a plethora of items one should avoid eating to prevent weight-gain. In fact, there are so many things that can be included in such a list, I’ll just let you fill in the list yourself. To help you out and get you going, I’ll lay out the numbers so you don’t have to do that part.

Have fun!

1.

2.

3.

4…. (Oh, forget it, you know your way to 10 from here. Finish writing the numbers yourself. And if you can’t count to ten, weight-loss should be the least of your worries.)

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